Friday, May 29, 2015
Big Sur/ Limekiln State Park
After we watched that movie trailer in section for "Big Sur", I was curious and decided to watch it. It's also super conveniently on Netflix. Anyways, I thought it was a pretty good movie overall, and would recommend it to people, but warn that is it pretty repetitive. The movie is basically Kerouac acting super depressed, and him and his friends going back and forth from S.F to Big Sur and partying. The scenery of the movie was beautiful, so I did not mind that part being repetitive, as it was awesome to see all those places that I have recently traveled to.
All that being said, what I really want to share is my own experience camping at Big Sur in April, and compare it to Kerouac's experience there as represented in the film.
I went camping in Limekiln State Park, which is farther south of Big Sur, but still a part of Big Sur. I was super excited to go, and had been planning the trip for months, but when I got there, I was hit with this wave of depression that not even being out in a place as beautiful as that could remedy. I felt super trapped, and dead inside even though life was teeming all around me. It was strange, and I am not sure what caused it, probably more graduation anxiety, but watching the movie Big Sur resonated with me a lot because I felt like I understood Jack's experience of feeling trapped and dead inside. In the movie, he felt very confined to Ferlinghetti's cabin, and when he went outside, all he could see was death. It was also interesting to me that he felt happier in the city, where he was surrounded by buildings and people instead of trees.
The juxtaposition between the city and the forest in the move was really interesting to me as well. I have always felt like nature was a place to go to heal, and feel at peace, and sift through your mind. But my experience mirrored Jack's in that after a day I wanted to go back home, even though I knew I was being ridiculous for wanting to leave such a beautiful place.
The one thing that was different about my experience in Limekiln in comparison to Jack's is that I felt like I wanted to be alone there. I felt like that would have been more healing and exhilarating if I was alone, but I was surrounded with friends who felt like strangers to me. In the movie, Jack could neither be there alone, or with friends, either way he felt trapped.
Anyways, that was my spiel, but I also wanted to share some pictures from my trip. 
Despite how terrible I was feeling, I was in one of the most beautiful placed on earth, and I definitely appreciated that.
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I found your comments on the notion of "being trapped" quite compelling. It took me my entire 21 years to figure out, but to me, this feeling comes when one lives without a place to call home. "Home," especially in such a transitory stage in our lives, is a place that may often elude you (as it eludes me); it's a place where you feel completely at ease, a place of safety and disenthrallment. I haven't found it yet, and like you, I oftentimes feel trapped. Perhaps it's Moloch or perhaps it's simply that I haven't found the right space to live yet, but either way, the anxiety that accompanies this is overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more. Your comments kind of helped me figure out why I was feeling the way that I was. I feel like I am in one of those transitory phases where I do not know where my next home will be, and I feel like in order to be secure when I go out in the world, I need to know where home is.
DeleteYour comment on wanting to go home after a day resonated with me the most. At first, I though it was maybe because, despite needing some time to ourselves for peace and quiet, we are still social creatures and thus require to be around people. When you explained you were with friends however, I was thrown off. Perhaps they felt like strangers because different settings bring out the different aspects of us? I don't really know, but your comments really made me think about why I always want to go home when I go out to a beautiful place like that.
ReplyDeleteI think it is really interesting too. I always am excited to go out into the world and be a part of nature but then I want to go home sooner than I thought and it is weird, and it is something that Kerouac experienced as well. I think you are right about the different settings thing. I always feel alienated in new places. Maybe it is because I have not figured out how to act in them. Not sure, but I think you could be right.
Deletei like your photos and reflection. big sur is infinitely beautiful :)…. i must say i hated the movie. the scenes they showed of kerouac typing on his typewriter were ridiculous. they chose to zoom in on different things he was writing and they were all so lame and cliche "big beautiful clouds"…. that being said i don't know if anyone could make a movie that would do justice to kerouac– his stories come alive not because of the plot, it is the prose, and that is something that can't be captured in cinema. especially because big sur has very little dialogue and is mostly internal monologue.
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